Dec 30, 2008

THE VOYAGE OF THE SOUL

Passing thru life's milestones

It was three in the morning when the shrill sound of the phone woke me from a deep sleep. I knew who it was as soon as I heard the sound of the phone. "Mr. Teitler, this is Dr Yang. I am sorry to wake you, however your mother just passed away."

I knew that it was coming. She had been non responsive for the past year. Each day spent in her own world, each hour bringing her closer to that moment. Each minute passing ever so slowly.

I had been prepared for this moment, or so I thought. The passing of my father approximately one year earlier had not been too hard on me, and I felt my moms passing would be the same. I was wrong. From the first ring of the phone, I started to feel a great sense of loss. I found myself crying with each passing thought of her, remembering those times in which she shined. Death seemed so final. Now she was gone forever. I recalled the time she spent 2 weeks at my house when I was living with my kids after my first divorce. I along with my daughter had Pneumonia. As soon as she heard about it she moved in until we were better.

Funny, I didn't recall any of the bad times we spent together, only the good times. At the cemetery we huddled to say goodbye as we shoveled dirt onto her casket, the freezing weather keeping us moving fast. Then, all of a sudden it was finished as the gravediggers took over.

I have never experienced a greater sense of loss in my life before. I still feel totally connected to her, actually more connected in death than life.

Experiencing the loss of one's parents tends to bring us closer to ourselves, at least that's what happened with me. It's a milestone in life thru which we must pass in order to find our sense of ourselves. We are born; our parents nurture us until we can survive on our own. Then they let us fly, as slowly we become their parents. They pass, and the cycle starts over again with our kids. Just as night turns into day and winter into spring, we evolve as we are meant to, becoming real human beings. This is the voyage of the soul.